Chapter 2: Thanksgiving

It's been three months since he returned from Lightning Flats with Jack's shirt, the one now hanging in his closet, inside his own bloodied sleeves. It felt right, to switch the shirts around, putting Jack's inside his own. He knew Jack would understand. It felt right, like it was when they slept together in the tent, Jack snuggly in his arms. It felt right, like that embrace long ago, when Jack was dozing in front of the fire with the dying sun behind them, and he sneaked up to Jack and wrapped his arms around him, with their shadows together, their hearts beating as one, their souls intertwined. The pain of missing Jack was always there, everyday, but the peace of knowing he was loved, accepting his own love, was also there, every moment of every day. Gone was the old fear that kept him from Jack. Nothing was important, nothing was significant, nothing had meaning, compared to the one obsession...his love, their love. His dreams are filled with it, sometimes. What was empty confusion filled with longing for a love that he thought he couldn't have, was replaced with a bittersweet contentment of a love that he treasure with all his heart and soul.

It was a funny coincident that Junior dropped by just as he was putting up those numbers on his new mailbox. Now that he kept regular correspondence with Jack's Ma, he needed to have a regular address so he can get her letters as soon as possible. It was funny that the two most important women in his life came together symbolically that same day, the night before when Jack first came to him in his dreams. He was there in the kitchen, with his Ma and the old man. Ennis was there, too. The table had a feast of fixings, beans, and jerky, and turkey. They were one happy family. He was happy waking from that dream. The pain of missing Jack was still there, but the love from the dream lingered for the rest of that day, when Junior showed up. He was glad to ask her about Kurt. He knew that it wouldn't do for her not to marry someone who loved her, like Jack loved him. He wanted that for his little darling. He was glad the day was almost perfect, as he made his promise to Jack, before turning in, hoping for another dream of Jack. It would have been perfect, if he had Jack right there, on the pillow before him, the one he kept immaculate, just for him. The same pillow that night after night become stained with tears.

"Enough of that." Ennis thought, "Time to get ready." He was thrilled to hear back from Jack's Ma, to be invited to spend Thanksgiving with them. Everything is going to be perfect, just like in his dream. He got the turkey, the beef jerky, the bean, the cranberry. Jack's Ma insisted on baking her cherry cake, and pumpkin pie. He smiled with the memory of the delicious aroma when he visited again the second time. The old man was still cranky and mean as ever, but he enjoyed spending time with Jack's Ma. He knew that she knew about them, about their friendship being more than just ordinary friendship between two fishing buddies, or whatever. Her every word, every gesture had been kindness and compassion. He could recognize traces of her in Jack, and being in her presence, in her house, was the closet he could feel being with Jack again, except in his happy dreams.

Loading up the truck, and packing it with ice, Ennis started off on the long drive to Jack Twist childhood home, to spend Thanksgiving with the one person who shared his love for the only man he ever loved.